So what is it that makes our brains so lucid after midnight? It's like your body is tired and yet, your mind goes on and on....or not, because it starts putting in lyrics to a Celine Dion song. Anyway, why can't there be more things open in the middle of night besides Wal-marts that are full of rowdy suburban teenagers who really have no clue how else to get into trouble except sitting in the furniture displays past their curfew?
I guess there's bars and clubs and what not that are open, but I've never been comfortable in places that require standing and drinking liquid at the same time. I can't concentrate on anything anyone is saying or doing because I'm focused on how to hold my glass or whatever. Then, my other hand gets all fidgety because there's nothing to do with it except drape it at my side and try and look nonchalant while talking about anything that will make me sound modern and cool. And let's face it, I'm not even close to cool. So really there's no point for me to go to those places. Even though I can dance fairly well. It's true- my living room can vouch for me. So what if it doesn't have mirrors? I just know my moves really are like Jagger.
I guess there's also diner places open like IHOP and Denny's, but let's face it, they require eating a whole other meal to pay for. And lately I've been wondering if there is any social activity that doesn't include food. Not that I'm against food, but it's just always involved in social situations. Maybe it's just we like to sit down while socializing. I've been thinking lately and realized our culture really values sitting. We sit in school, we sit in cars, we sit in front of tv's or computer screens, and we're told to aim for jobs that let you sit at a desk. Hmm, I feel like I'm on to something very profound.
But back to nothing being open at night. The only other things I can think of that are open right now are grocery stores. While that appeals to me because with the lack of traffic- I could peruse the shelves and take my sweet time selecting out granola from the bins without being sighed at or hurried (aka pushy ladies coming home from the gym program they are barely keeping up with are not polite shoppers), I do live in fear of helpful employees. Employees that are nice and try their best. They are the worst. They make eye contact and ask you if they find anything to the point where you wonder if stalking was invented in a grocery store. I know they're just trying to do their job, it's just tiring. You always have to be on your guard. Especially when you're one of the only two customers in there late at night. They have power in numbers AND no one else to divert their attention. This one time I got stuck at the self-check out line and they were quoting me vegetable numbers...never mind it's too...yeah.
ANYways, sometimes I think it would be better if you had decoys. Like after you found some random children (that's legal right?), you'd turn them loose in the store and the employees would have to chase them down while you dodge behind displays like a ninja, grab your ramen, and get the hell out of there.
Seriously, it's like being in one of those nerve-wracking video games where zombies or whatnots pop up in the most unexpected places (Silent Hill anyone?). The problem is you don't have a weapon besides talking. How do you equip the power of conversation with a grocery zombie? I mean the whole concept of a zombie is that verbal reasoning will not work on it. I mean good God, they even give people a plushie hammer for whack-a-mole. Maybe if I just pretended I couldn't speak English...
I'm just not cut out for night life. What a waste, because I stay up late so well. Sigh....in your head, in your head, z-om-bie, z-om-bie, z-om-bie-eh-e-eh-e-eh..... I'm going to bed.
